Earlier this week I was walking onto the main floor of my gym getting ready to teach the evening boot camp class. When walking up toward the front of the room I saw a sweet friend, and I observed that she is noticeably losing fat. She and I have talked multiple times about her goals and challenges, so witnessing her personal success had me super pumped.
Me: “You look SO good!”
Her: “Yeah, but... <blah blah blah> and also <blah, blah, blah>”
Me: “Stop. Just say thank you. Say it with me now – Thaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuu. I meant what I said. You look amazing.”
We laughed about it, but it seriously made me start thinking about all of the times that we, especially females, are critical, self-judgmental, and we find difficulty in accepting compliments from others.
But WHY? Here’s why – we’re probably insecure about whatever it is that the compliment is directed toward.
“I love your new haircut!” ------> “They cut more off than I wanted.”
“I love that top on you!” ------> “It fits a little tighter than I thought it would.”
“Dinner is so yummy tonight!” ------> “I should have cooked it a little less.”
AND here’s my favorite exchange between me and my wifey when she wears a particular pair of jeans that just happen to be my favorite on her:
Me: “Honey, your bootay looks so good in those jeans…” She’ll either criticize herself or look at me with defeat.
Me: “AHEM. I said your booty looks good in those jeans…”
Her: “Thank you.” – and then she usually walks away or changes the subject quickly.
I know it’s an insecurity of hers, but MY opinion of her is valid, and I say it with the most genuine and real expression. We have had numerous conversations about accepting compliments. It honestly makes her uncomfortable. She’d much rather compliment others.
And let’s discuss this - accepting a compliment is not boasting. It’s also not arrogant. It’s simply thanking someone for noticing whatever it is that they notice. Maybe you ARE insecure about your new haircut or your new shirt or the dinner that you cooked. Maybe. Maybe not. But if you find yourself being a “yeah, but” person, try showing an appreciation for the compliment being handed to you.
AND while you're at it - TRY THIS: Genuinely hand someone a compliment today. Observe their reaction. It’s fascinating how often people avoid compliments!
Some of us have the thankfulness down. And some of us need more practice in overcoming our insecurities so that we can fully appreciate those compliments when they come at us. But with some practice, maybe – just maybe you’ll start to really HEAR whatever it is that the person is trying to tell you. OWN it. ACCEPT it. EMBRACE it.
Find your best YOU.
Engage. Empower. Elevate.
Oh – and hey, THANK YOU for reading! xoxo